英语讲的小笑话
这两个小子已经融为一体了！
关于用英语讲一个小笑话篇一
雇主和雇员
Workman: "Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married."
Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."
工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。我刚刚结了婚。”
雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。”
关于用英语讲一个小笑话篇二
两颗番茄
Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato walked fast. The second one asked, "Where are we going1?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally2 turned slowly3,said4: "We are not tomatoes? We can talk?"
两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”
关于用英语讲一个小笑话篇三
第一次开出租车
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。司机大叫起来，车也失去了控制，几乎撞上一辆公车，还上了便道，在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来。
司机说，“伙计，别再这么干了。你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说，“我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样。” 司机说，“对不起，也不全是你的错。今天是我第一天开出租。以前25年里我一直开殡葬车。”
关于用英语讲一个小笑话篇四
Lawyer and Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat1 confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。律师说：“我到这里是因为我的房子被大火烧了，保险公司赔偿了我所有的损失。”
“这太巧了，”工程师说，“我是因为房子被洪水冲垮了，保险公司也赔偿了所有的损失。”
律师看起来有些困惑，“你是怎么引起洪水的?”他不解的问。
关于用英语讲一个小笑话篇五
Back up Two Miles 退后两英里
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked1 his horn.
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。
“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。
“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。\
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