英语笑话大全笑翻天2017
生活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话大全笑翻天吧!
英语笑话大全笑翻天(一)
When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
英语笑话大全笑翻天(二)
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。
Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.
他决心去弄些跑得飞快的.轮子来改变这种境况。
After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.
逛了一圈之后，它决定买Datson 240-Z。
So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
去了最近的Datsun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
经销商问：“为什么是S呢?”
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.
蜗牛回答说：“‘s’代表蜗牛。
I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
我想让每一个看见我呼啸而过的人知道是谁在开车。”
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail,
经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会，
so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
所以他同意收取些许费用，把车重新涂漆。
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
蜗牛开着它的新车，把自己的余生都用在了快乐地高速行使在告诉公路上。
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
而不论何时任何人看见它飞驰而过的时候，都会说：“哦!看那S-car 。”
英语笑话大全笑翻天(三)
the squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied：
班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
"sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."
“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”
"right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?”
"he's not doing any digging, sir."
“他不干活，长官。”
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