一分钟简单高中英语小笑话
笑话是幽默的一种形式,玩笑的目的就是逗乐、引人笑。下面是阳光网小编带来的高中英语一分钟小笑话，欢迎阅读!
高中英语一分钟小笑话篇一
灾难
George W. Bush visits an elementary school and the 4th grade class is in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word "tragedy". So George W. Bush asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
乔治·布什到一所小学参观，四年级的孩子们正在讨论一些单词及其含义。老师问总统是否愿意带领孩子们一起讨论“灾难”的含义时，乔治·布什要求学生们给出灾难的具体例子。
One boy stands up and says, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over; that would be a tragedy.”
一个男孩站起来说:“如果住在我隔壁的最好的朋友在街上玩，一辆轿车开过来并从他身上碾过去，那将是一场灾难。”
"No,”says Bush，"that would be an accident.”
“不，”布什说:“那只是一场意外。”
A girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved; that would be a tragedy.”
一个女孩举起她的手说，“如果一辆载着50个学生的校车翻下悬崖，车上所有的同学都丧命，那将是一场灾难。”
“I’m afraid not,” explains the President. "That’s what we would call a Great
loss.”
“恐怕不是，”总统解释说，“那是我们所说的重大损失。”
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room and asks, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
教室里一片安静，没有一个孩子再发言。布什总统扫视了一遍教室，然后说，“这里没有人能再给我一个例子，说明什么是灾难吗?”
Finally，in the back of the room, Johnny raises his hand and in a quiet voice he says， "If Air Force One，carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
最后，在教室的后面，约翰尼举起了他的手，用平静的口气说，“如果载着布什先生和布什太太的空军一号被导弹击落并炸成碎片，那将是一场灾难。”
"That's right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" asks the President.
“对了!你能告诉我为什么那是灾难吗?”总统问。
"Well,” Johnny says, "because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure as well wouldn't be a Great Loss.”
“哦，”约翰尼说:“因为那将不是意外，也绝对不是重大损失。”
高中英语一分钟小笑话篇二
父亲的职业
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
小学老师正在问孩子们他们双亲的职业。
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a Doctor!”
迪米站起来说:“我母亲是名医生。”
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is Professor!”
莎拉站起来说:“我父亲是位教授。”
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My ad is a piano player in a whorehouse!”
小约翰尼站起来说，“我爹地在妓院演奏钢琴。”
The teacher couldn’t believe what she ad just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening.
老师不敢相信她所听到的话，于是她决定晚上给小约翰尼的.爸爸打电话问个清楚。
When she told him what Little Johnny had said，he told her, "Actually. . . I’m an attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven一year old?"
等她告诉小约翰尼的父亲后，约翰尼的父亲对她说，“事实上，我是一名律师，但我怎么能向一个七岁的小孩解释清楚这个职业?”
高中英语一分钟小笑话篇三
罗马是什么时候建成的?
Teacher: When was Rome built?
教师:罗马是在什么时候建成的?
Tom: At night.
汤姆:在夜里。
Teacher: Who told you that?
教师:是谁告诉你的?
Tom: You did. You said" Rome wasn’t built in a day".
汤姆:是您。您说过“罗马不是在一个白天建成的”。
笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的知识。小编精心收集了有关于简短的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
有关于简短的英语笑话篇1
The mourner's pain
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife's first husband.”
有关于简短的英语笑话篇2
Black eyes
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
有关于简短的英语笑话篇3
不捐款的理由Why should I give you money
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
有关于简短的英语笑话篇4
好客
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
有关于简短的英语笑话篇5
聪明的儿子
One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didn't write address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box?"
"Certainly."
"You didn't notice that?the envelope does not have address and addressee's name on it?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why?didn't you take it back?"
"I thought that you?did not write address and addressee, because you wouldn't let me know to whom you send the letter!"
英语笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。阳光网小编整理了关于两分钟的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
关于两分钟的英语笑话：Blind Man in Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"
The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"
The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.
The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door.
Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
关于两分钟的英语笑话：Akimbo (叉腰)
Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn' t like washing hands──she' s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蝉). Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻挡) her from doing it: " What do you want to do?" She was immediately on to (意识)her blame, replied at ease(从容): " I' m akimbo."
像大多数别的小孩一样，两岁艾咪丽雅不爱洗手，吃东西弄脏手，随便在身上一抹就得了。一天我正陪她吃炸知了，她手上的油多了，便习惯地往真丝小褂子上蹭，我阻止道：“你想干什么?”她马上意识到问题所在，从容答道：“我叉腰。”
关于两分钟的英语笑话：Reason of Punishment
惩罚的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。
妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业
关于两分钟的英语笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于两分钟的英语笑话：I'm Trying to Stop It
左耳朵进右耳朵出
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”
“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
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